


Funny Number

by Julius_Ranch



Series: Weskennedy Crack [4]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Jill's there for like a minute, Leon making fun of Wesker for being old, M/M, Nothing graphic barely a sentence of description, The number 69, Wesker knows nothing of internet culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julius_Ranch/pseuds/Julius_Ranch
Summary: Leon basically ragging on Wesker for being old
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Albert Wesker
Series: Weskennedy Crack [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887415
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Funny Number

**Author's Note:**

> Did I wait two months for the Weskennedy tags to get close to 69 so I could swoop in last second to make this stupid joke fic? More likely than you think

"Hey." Jill asked from her side of the couch.

"Yeah?" Leon asked, absorbed in his collectible style cat game.

"You think Wesker knows what 69ing is?

"...What?" He finally tore his eyes away from the game to squint at Jill.

"69ing, you know, when–"

"Jill, I know what 69ing is. What does Wesker have to do with this."

"He’s old and repressed."

"True," Leon had to give it to her, no one in Wesker’s position had a healthy sexual...anything.

"So…" She prompted after a beat of silence.

"So?"

"Are you going to ask him?"

Staring at his couch companion, Leon questioned the life choices he's made that had led up to this moment. "Nope."

"Really? You're not even a little bit curious?" Jill pressed.

"Not really. He's old, give him a break." 

Snorting, Jill turned back to her phone and that was the end of that conversation. Leon thought it was behind him until a few weeks later when he saw Wesker on his phone, sitting at the table, chewing on a forkful of scrambled eggs, most likely browsing the news did the question hit him again. 

Casually sitting next to him, Leon stared at him intently, waiting.

"Yes?"

"I have a question for you."

Putting his fork down, Wesker’s face pinched in wary confusion. Leon asked a mixture of horrible, awful, and wonderful questions. "Alright."

"You're a pretty old guy, like really old," Leon started continuing past Wesker's sharp glare. "Had a lot of experiences, met a lot of people."

"Your point."

"Do you know what 69ing is?"

Staring as Wesker puzzled together what it was he was just asked and if it was a setup for a joke.

"69ing?"

"Yes."

Setting his phone down, Wesker squinted at the far wall, trying to dredge up anything that could be related. "...No,” he finally settled, looking a bit irritated, as he was caught not knowing something.

Not surprised, but a tad bit disappointed, Leon barely kept a sympathetic smile off his face. "Really? It's so widely known."

Receiving a deadpan look, he quickly explained it: "So, when a man and woman, or two men or women, really, really love each other–"

"Leon."

Putting up his hands in a show of surrender, he told him it was a sex position where someone on top and someone below performed oral on each other. A look of dawning appeared on his face. It always inflated Leon’s ego whenever he was about to teach Wesker new things. Even if said things were dumb, like memes he couldn't understand. What an old head.

"Mm, I see. I’ve done it once or twice. What about the other number it's regularly paired with?"

"Huh?" Who, when, and where did Wesker 69. And why wasn't he told this very vital information? Leon came up blank on who would have fucked him. Hmm, maybe Ada? Jill? No, she’s the one that bought up the question. Some random fling maybe.

"69 and 430." Wesker clarified the wrong thing which ticked Leon off, but God, he even said 'four hundred and thirty'.

"It's 420." Leon automatically corrected and had a skeptical look on his face. "Hold on you can't just say you've sixty-"

Wesker bulldozed right over him. "Why is Marijuana synonymous with 420." Wesker looked tired and rightfully his age.

"No clue, but it's just the way it is." Shrugging, Leon picked up Wesker’s fork and stole a bite of eggs as an act of spite for not having context for Wesker's history of 69ing.

Resting his elbow on the table, Wesker pinched the bridge of his nose. "One day death will take me from this mortal hellscape."

**Author's Note:**

> As always I gotta thank the lovely Get_Blasted for editing my works <3  
> [ https://archiveofourown.org/users/get_blasted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/%5Bget_blasted%5D)


End file.
